How To Find The Right Mate

[Michael]

Thinking Of Getting Married?

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

In the secular world there is a process called KT Decision Making. This process is quite helpful in certain situations but as a Christian we should be into Holy Spirit Decision Analysis.
Here are some important criteria to consider in making the right choices in the Spirit.
1. Search the Scriptures. Read, listen to and meditate on God' s Word. It cuts through the clutter and filters out whatever' s not of God.
2. Don' t be impatient. Psalm 25: 3a Yea, let none that wait on thee be ashamed:
3. Persist in prayer and ask for God's wisdom James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
4. Fast. Ezra 8: 21 Then I proclaimed a fast there, at the river of Ahava, that we might afflict ourselves before our God, to seek of him a right way for us, and for our little ones, and for all our substance.
5. Wait for peace. Colossians 3: 15 Peace is the "umpire" that should settle all decisions.
As illustrations of Holy Spirit Decision Analysis I would like to consider here examples from the marriage arena.

The Unequal Yoke - Will It Work?

Years ago I received a tract entitled, "The Unequal Yoke - Will It Work? " (1). The key scripture associated with this tract is:-
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6: 14)
The Christian woman who wrote the tract confessed that she married an unsaved man. She said she didn' t wait long enough to get the Lord' s will in the matter. Even the pastor of her church, who was a well known conference speaker, encouraged her to go through with the marriage.
After she was married her spouse brought his unsaved, drinking friends into the home and caused her a lot of grief. Over 25 years later she stated we are still married but the husband is not yet saved.
In this tract the woman relates her bitter experience when she chose her own way and ignored God' s Word. She said, “ I expected he would walk with me in the ways of the Lord ... but I watched my husband going deeper in sinful living.”
Not mentioned in the tract is the fact that a yoke is a wooden bar or frame that joins two animals, such as oxen together. Once they are joined, they cannot go in separate directions, but must work side by side.
God warned Israel through Moses that if they failed to obey His commandments that they would be in bondage to their enemies. Deuteronomy 28: 47, 48.

Fasting

And the man came into the house: and he ungirded his camels, and gave straw and provender for the camels, and water to wash his feet, and the men's feet that were with him.
And there was set meat before him to eat: but he said, I will not eat, until I have told mine errand... Genesis 24:32 - 33
Here we see the first example of fasting and prayer in Scripture. In biblical interpretation the "Principle of First Occurrence" suggests that the first occurrence of a concept in Scripture sets the tone for how that concept is to be viewed elsewhere in Scripture. If true, then this first occurrence of fasting suggests that fasting is a means of seeking God, His guidance and His confirmations concerning His will. The servant prayed and fasted for guidance, and God answered.
Are you in need of God' s guidance as you make difficult decisions?
Are you facing a difficult situation? Why not spend some time fasting and praying for God' s wisdom and for His guidance.
Some years ago I heard a 2- tape series on marriage decision making and what I remember is that there was an impartation of faith from the speaker. In other words the preacher was practising what was being preached and was recommending that both parties fast for 10 days if a couple were contemplating marriage.
I believe in my heart such major decisions have to be based on the WORD, coupled with fasting and prayer.

Do Not Be Like The Horse

I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.
Be ye not as the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding: whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle, lest they come near unto thee.
Many sorrows shall be to the wicked: but he that trusteth in the LORD, mercy shall compass him about. Psalm 32: 8 - 10
A horse is too fast and a mule is too slow!
To the horse you have to say WO!
And to the mule you have to say GO!
F. B. Meyer (2) says, " It is all-important that the children of God's people should marry only in the Lord. See 1 Cor. 7:39. Those who live in fellowship with him may confidently count on his help in this. Every marriage should be a matter for profound concern and much prayer, both for the parents of each, as well as for those that are to be wed. What wonder that so many marriages turn out to be a disappointment and a curse when they are entered upon so lightly and thoughtlessly! "

----------------------------------
1. Shields, Sara P., " The Unequal Yoke - Will It Work? ", Evangelical Tract Distributors, P. 0. Box 146, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada T5J 2G9
2. Meyer, F.B., " Devotional Commentary", Tyndale House, Note on Genesis 24.

[Michael]

Prophetic Marriage
by Rev. Elvis & Clara Iverson

This is true Story of a Man and a Woman of God being brought together by the will of God.

"It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." (Gen 2:18) Then the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. (Gen. 2:22) .For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Gen 2:24)

........Clara said, " I looked up all the biblical references on God's will for marriage and then declared those promises to my life. Isaac and Rebecca's love story was the most inspiring one to me. I received the revelation on how God prepared Rebecca to be Isaac's wife, and how God led her to Isaac's servant and brought her all the way to Isaac's home. Thus, I had a strong sense that someday, God will also take me out of my hometown and bring me to my husband's side.

Elvis said, "I also have prayed for my wife since I was 16. I knew a Youth Pastor who taught on believing for your mate and he used me as an example, he said, "You only know your own wife whom you are praying for while the others going around dating and seeking wives without God's help." I would pray for a wife and what I wanted in a wife. I prayed for some years and while I was in Bible College, God spoke to me and said," I have given you what you have asked for, but I will give more of what you have asked for, I have given you my best, but it will not go against what you have asked for." From that time forth I never again prayed for a wife but prayed for my wife. God gave some visions and dreams about my wife and our future children.

So I believed God and waited for her. Then it came to the time of last year in which I was without a wife and God said ,"soon your wife will come and you will be one." Then one year later, I met her and on June 29th 2002 we were married. In Proverbs 18:22 says "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord."

God calls me to serve people of other nations. In all these years, I had been traveling here and there as a missionary, but I never had a home base or church base. Last year (2001) during December, my Spiritual father, who was a Prophet, told me that I got to settle down and got married to a Pastor. Then, I responded to God's timing and prayed even more fervently for a husband. God then showed my sister a dream that my husband's profile will be on c-pals.net. Miraculously, I was led to an American Pastor who is called Pastor Elvis Iverson on this net. I felt a sense of peace and meekness in his profile. I started to email him and he emailed me back. This love story was then developed and grew through the innovative invention of internet. Six months later, God opened a door and we then got married in a hotel in Omaha, Nebraska, USA. June 29, 2002 was such a romantic and precious moment in my life!

The reason why I went to c-pals.net was to find people from many nations but not to find a wife. I wanted to reach out to many in other nations since I was called to other nations. While doing this I will have certain pen-pals writing me asking me if I would like to date and that may possibly lead to marriage, but I didn't have a witness so I kindly discouraged them. But one day I met a girl! She emailed me and I could feel the anointing on each of her email. For the others, I did not have a lot to say but with her, I could write a lot to her. The more she emailed me, the more I emailed her. I loved to read her letters. I knew she was a woman of prayer and she was pure before God and I had a witness. Then God gave me a dream about her praying for me, then I woke up and had entered into a vision of her praying for me, and after the vision God give me a prophecy about her and it was about prayer. See, God bears witness with both parties not just one side in seeking for the mate to be!!!!!!

The reason why this is a prophetic marriage is because we had already seen our mates long time ago before he/she came into existence. We spoke what we believed out into existence. Holy Spirit was an agent who did most of the work. He showed us in dreams and visions to confirm that he/she was our mate. Feeling didn't come first but the leading of the Spirit of God and the supreme will of God that brought us together. He/she is a reward and gift after long periods of waiting upon God's promise. Thus, God satisfy the desires of both of our hearts. This prophetic marriage doesn't come out of flesh, nor out of human desires, but the Will Of God. Truly, truly I can say this prophetic marriage is the most precious, fascinating experience to both of us. Elvis, my husband now, is the best and most lovely man in my whole entire life!

Source: [e-mail]

[Michael]

A Matter of Timing


I trust in You, O Lord; I say, "You are my God." My times are in your hands. Psalm 31:14-15


I married late, at thirty three. This was approximately twelve years after the time I first wanted to get married. Twelve years doesn't seem so long now, but then it seemed an eternity. For about half of those twelve years, I tried the world's way of getting married. Not being a Christian, I assumed the burden of finding a wife was entirely my own. I never had the stomach for singles' bars and computer match-ups and that sort of thing, but I was ever the eagle eyed hunter. Whatever business each day involved, a part of my attention was always given to the hunt. Was this the day? Should I start a conversation? Should I have pressed for a date? "This approach created much anxiety and regret. I was haunted by the thought of missed opportunities, or of not having exerted myself enough. Even when an acquaintanceship got going, it gave little satisfaction, since I could tell pretty soon that it wouldn't lead to marriage. What it did often lead to was emotional entanglements, false hopes, and bruised hearts.


By twenty-six I was getting nervous as one after another of my friends got married and started families. Then various providences brought me to Massachusetts, where I became a Christian and was baptized. "When the church's view of courtship and marriage was explained to me, I was flabbergasted. What? Stop hunting, stop dating, just leave it to God and pray ? And go through a minister? Accustomed as I was to going after what I wanted, this seemed almost a cop-out; it was too passive, practically un-American. Yet it also had an appeal, especially as I observed the happy families, of those had gone that route. There seemed to be some proof in the pudding, and I ventured to try it.


"At first it brought a marvelous sense of relief. For the first time in years I relaxed, letting go and letting God. I fully believed that He wishes to grant us the desire of our heart. I'd waited this long; I could wait a little longer for the perfect wife God had in store for me. Then, as lonely weekend followed lonely weekend, my resolve began to weaken. I had a good job and a new circle of Christian friends. I even lived with a godly couple who tried to disciple me. But the 'old man' in me began to kick at the new constraints. After all, didn't God help those who help themselves? Wasn't this waiting for Heaven's choice a little extreme? The upshot was that I decided to cheat. I went through the cycle one more time, till conscience gnawed and my relation to God withered. I finally broke free after a timely warning from a minister. Then, leaving behind more hurt feelings, I moved closer to fellowship with the church people, for my own protection.


Subsequent years were spiritually rich and emotionally rocky. By thirty-two, being single had become my quiet obsession. I didn't discuss it much but had begun wondering if God ever wanted me to marry. The prospect tormented me. I recognized that many single people seemed fulfilled and happy, that Scripture endorsed their condition and even seemed to give an edge to singleness, that great works of faith had been accomplished by the unmarried, not lest Jesus Himself. But I still wanted to get married. If lifelong bachelorhood was to be my cross I wasn't sure I could bear it. Each passing year deepened the sense of isolation, of deficiency, of not fitting in. I found myself half wishing I were a Catholic; at least those in religious life who never married got some spiritual 'credit.' But to be Protestant and single just meant feeling left out. Even as anxiety deepened, God planted a name in my ear. It was someone who. on the face of it, seemed highly unsuitable. The gaps of age, background, experience were too great. Yet the thought wouldn't go away. God had acted likewise with the young lady. It finally came out, and we were swept together in what felt like an arranged marriage - arranged by God. I never sensed His will so clearly. And His choice was vindicated by a union so blissful that a description of it would sound gloating. For me the striking lesson of it was the superiority of God's timing to mine. My wife, revealed daily as an ideal partner, is 12 years younger. At the time I felt ready to marry, she was in the fourth grade. It wouldn't have done, so I had to wait.


Of course I didn't know that at the time. Like Job, I saw my own immediate woes. Lacking God's perspective, I kicked against the pricks. We're told to trust, given examples of his faithfulness in both Scripture and our own lives, and yet how easily we forget and begin to doubt Him! My advice to singles who want to marry is hang on. Don't despair of God's resources, so infinitely greater than ours. Don't limit His capacity to bring a mate out of nowhere, when the pool of candidates seems hopeless and small. Don't chafe at Scripture's stress on waiting to know God's will in the matter. He has a will for you, whether you follow it or not. When you get ahead of God and try to force things, the consequences are tragic. The statistics tell the tale; so do the personal cases of misfired romances and wretched marriages. The way of courtship I learned in our church, as unusual as it seems in these times, appears to me to be God's answer to today's confusion. Those who grew up understanding these things do not always appreciate them, and often take sound and happy marriages for granted. They may hanker for a more 'normal' approach, whereas those of us who have tried 'normality' can testify to its inadequacy.


In the end, of course, none of us can assure the happiness of anyone else. Nor can we just glibly urge patience on single people, since it may not be God's will for them to marry. But we can comfort one another and give mutual encouragement in the acceptance of that will. Whether we're single or married, life will bring sorrows, but out touchstone of joy remains the steady bearing of a yoke that is in the long run 'easy', and 'light'."


* Tom Griffith in Times of Restoration (Amherst, N.H.: Kingdom Press, January 1987)

[Michael]

According to the Jewish rabbis, FOLLOWING IS A LIST OF PSALMS WHICH ARE RECITED ON SPECIAL OCCASIONS:

To find a mate (shidduch) ... Psalms Chapters 32, 38, 70, 71, 72, 82, 121, 124

Source:- www.tehilimhotline.org/

[Michael]

Added a note on this forum called " What to Do If You Meet Someone On The PAFN Forum." It is located at:-

pafn777.proboards26.com/index.cgi?board=relationship&action=display&thread=1076504123&start=0